


It was Worth Loving You

by orphan_account



Category: The Creatures (Youtube RPF)
Genre: BUT THERES AN ALERNATE ENDING, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, i cant handle sad endings, so i made a happy one too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 08:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6277114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I know that I have loved a few people in my life. Though, being with you has made me realize that love has different degrees, and none of them have come close to what I feel for you,” Jordan took a breath, sniffled in the chill of the air as his breath came out in wisps of opaque steam. “And I don’t want to spend the rest of my life trying to find anything different. I couldn’t. Not after loving you.</p>
<p>----------------------<br/>Made from four, four word prompts on tumblr. Thank you everyone who sent one in!</p>
            </blockquote>





	It was Worth Loving You

It started, probably Christmas Eve of twenty-fourteen, James would say. To this day, three years after the fact, he still wasn’t quite sure what persuaded him to say yes--to agree to date Jordan--but James wouldn’t have it any other way. Those last three years were some of the best he’s ever had; will ever have, if James is honest.

 The relationship as a whole didn’t change too much, but bringing that new aspect of partnership on an intimate level into the formula, well, it made everything colorful, for lack of a better term. Things were more exciting, now that he was able to share things with Jordan, and Jordan was able to share things with him. More than usual, of course.

 They weren’t without their faults, though, certainly. Little things would set James off, whereas repeated offenses would push Jordan to his boiling points. But the fights always ended in the same way; soft kisses, I’m sorry’s, and I love you’s. Jordan had been very adamant about it when they’d first got together; no going to sleep mad at each other. It was what had broke his last relationship, and Jordan didn’t want this one to end so soon.

 So when the pair went to GamesCom in Germany the following year in August, James jokingly said that it felt like a honeymoon, and Jordan decided that’s exactly what he’d wished it’d been. All of September had been spent sneaking around for Jordan; slyly getting James’ ring finger size and having a jeweler make the perfect engagement band for Jordan’s better half. It was finally finished in early November.

 Jordan waited. He waited so patiently, and it payed off. Christmas came around again, and the Eve was upon them. Jordan had originally canceled Secret Santa on the Hub for this specific reason, but decided they could just do a late giving instead. He wanted this night to be perfect; their one year anniversary, and hopefully their engagement day.

 Jordan took James to his favorite restaurant; bought him his favorite food, and even splurged on alcohol and dessert. The brunet knew James didn’t like giant public displays, so he waited until they got home, to James’ house that they now shared, and waited until James turned around to unlock the door before getting down on one knee and calling out to the older man.

 “James,” he said, trying to calm his erratic heartbeat.

 Said man hummed in question, but when he received no answer, he turned to look at Jordan over his shoulder. When he found nothing but empty space, James’ eyes glanced down before widening while his mouth opened in a silent gasp, the keys dropping onto the stoop.

 “Jordan, stop,” James said hastily, feeling himself shake. There was no way Jordan was actually doing this. “Jordan--”

 “James,” Jordan echoed, his eyes glassy as he stared up at the man who brought out his best; who loved him unconditionally even though Jordan knew he was a giant dork. Jordan stared at James’ perfect face, his cute dimples and vibrant eyes; falling in love with him all over again.

 “We’ve only been dating for a year, but gods it seems longer,” he sighed, shaking his head shortly. We’ve known each other for almost a decade, can you believe that? And I know the past is hard to bring up. A lot has happened, but I don’t think I’d change anything, if it means I could be kneeling before you just like this, every time.”

 James placed a hand over his mouth and tried to pull the tears back, but as soon as he sniffled, one dropped from the corner of his eye and Jordan’s expression just emanated with love and affection; understanding from the bottom of his heart. Jordan was actually doing this.

 “I know that I have loved a few people in my life. Though, being with you has made me realize that love has different degrees, and none of them have come close to what I feel for you,” Jordan took a breath, sniffled in the chill of the air as his breath came out in wisps of opaque steam. “And I don’t want to spend the rest of my life trying to find anything different. I couldn’t. Not after loving you.

 “So James, will you do me the honour? Will you marry me?”

 Jordan finally opened the little velveteen box; the engraved and handcrafted, one of a kind ring sitting in its sheath. James hiccuped, the tears spilling free despite his will, and James dropped to his knees in front of Jordan, though the brunet worried for James’ back. The older man threw his arms around Jordan and hugged him tight, letting their noses flick across each other in an eskimo kiss.

 James gulped, letting out a shaky breath as he looked up into Jordan’s blue green eyes, misty like his own. “Can I kiss you?” He asked before licking his lips.

 Jordan followed the movement, and grinned like a wolf. “Only if that’s a ‘yes’.”

 James couldn’t help the smirk that overcame his mouth, but he plunged forward on the dare, running his red tipped fingers through brunet hair as Jordan’s hat fell off into the snow. If there was one thing James would always remember about that night; it was full of long, soft, and loving kisses that he just could not get enough of.

 The following year, twenty-sixteen,  everything was under a tight schedule. Jordan wanted a wedding around Easter, and James agreed. What better way to have a wedding than around the day he normally celebrates Jordan? But that also meant that plans had to be made hastily, seeing as it wasn’t too far away. It was safe to say that no one was really in a chipper mood at the office. Except for Joe. Joe was always in a chipper mood.

 Valentine's day caught them off guard, and though Jordan had made plans with James, timing just was not on their side. Jordan got roped into doing sponsorships and James had to take care of a few hub related things, his own channel, and wedding plans. The darknet was _not_ in a fantastic mood that night, and Jordan was still busy, damn it!

 However, Nice-Guy-Aleks clapped him on the shoulder blade before wrapping his arm around James’ neck and offered to take the man out for drinks to relax and get a bit of down time. It sounded like heaven to James, and he agreed before Aleks even finished his sentence.

 They stayed out late; later than James would have liked. His phone had died at some point when they were bar skipping, and lost track of time until Aleks informed him it was near three in the morning and James swore. Loudly.

 James was groaning all the way home, and wasn’t surprised when he still saw a light on in the house. Jordan was probably worried sick about him; not being able to get in contact for hours. James walked into the house, and almost wanted to turn right back around. Something in his gut told him nothing was going to go right.

 He set his keys on the key wrack, kicked his shoes off and pulled his beanie off his head all while Jordan descended the stairs, looking on into the hallway at James. The brunet look frazzled, but coherent, at least. James’ own buzz had worn off on the ride home.

 “You were gone a while,” Jordan started, his tone neutral. “Did you have fun?”

 “Yeah,” James nodded, walking into the kitchen to charge his phone as Jordan followed him. “I did. Did you--”

 “Who were you with?” Jordan interrupted, leaning one hand on the counter while his other went to his hip, feet crossed.

 “Aleks,” James said a little dubiously, an eyebrow creasing at Jordan’s sudden offensive.

 “Wanted to spend Valentine’s Day with Aleks, huh?” Jordan pouted his lips, clicking his tongue as he lowered his eyes to the counter.”

 “No, I wanted to spend it with you, but you were busy,” James argued, raising his hand to press his fingers to his temples.

 “So it’s my fault you went out with another man?”

 “ _Another_ \--” James began incredulously. “ _Jordan_ . That _other man_ was _Aleks_ . You know? Russian guy? Works with us? _Fully supports our relationship_?!” James shook his head, scoffing as he turned around and breathed out a quick breath, licking his lips.

 “I can’t believe me going out with Aleks, of all people, would make you question my faith to you,” James turned back around, walking up to Jordan until they were a couple feet apart. “Did you really think that because I went out tonight with another guy, that I don’t love you anymore?” James’ eyebrows were creased, his expression distraught.

 Jordan licked his lips, blinking as his eyes tried to focus on something, and finally settling on James’ bourbon coloured irises. “No, no,” he sighed, lifting his own hand to his forehead. “Gods, no, James--”

 “Well, that’s what it seems like,” the older man said matter-of-factly, crossing his arms. “Actually,” he began, before pulling his hands up to his chest, using his right hand to shimmy the perfect, white-gold ring off his finger to set gently onto the counter next to them. “If you think that little of me, I want you to take that ring and get out of my house.”

 “James,” Jordan’s voice was a plea, his eyebrows furrowed high on his forehead as he processed what his fiance had said. James wasn’t actually kicking him out--there was no way. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. This last month and a half has been so hectic, you know that--”

 James nodded, taking up a stance much like Jordan’s earlier. “Yup. That’s why I want you to take that ring, go over to Dan’s, or your parents. Hell, even a hotel will do,” he said, waving his hand off into the air as a dismissal. “But I want you to cool your head. And I don’t want you to come back here until you know for certain you want to marry me.”

 Jordan opened his mouth to rebuttal, but James made a noise in his throat and shook his own head, closing his eyes with an air of finality about him. He heard Jordan sigh, a hand run through hair, and then Jordan’s footfalls as he moved away. James opened his eyes again, trying to retain his tears as he spotted the ring on the counter still.

 "You forgot the ring.”

 Jordan stopped in the hallway to the door, licking his lips as he looked back. He caught James’ eyes with his own and held them. “Keep it,” he looked down, blinked, and was focused on James’ caramel gaze once again when they opened. “There’s no one else I’d ever want to give it to.”

 James felt his breath leave him; knowing right then that Jordan did wholly love him, and would never stop loving him, but he watched with pools in his eyes as Jordan slipped his shoes on, grabbed his keys and walked out side. James’ first tear fell as the door slid shut.

 The darknet’s legs felt like lead as he listened to Jordan’s car alarm chirp as he unarmed it, then the door slammed shut and James’ whole body shook with the sound. He lifted his hand to the ring on the counter, touching it tenderly as if it were fragile, and listened to the purr of the mustang as Jordan started it up.

 James didn’t want it to end like this; he needed Jordan to come back--to hold the brunet in his arms and appologize because Jordan wasn’t the only one who had been tightly wound this year so far, and it was just as much James’ fault for this spout. So he grabbed the ring, slipped it in his pocket and hurried to pull his shoes back on before exiting the house only to see the mustang fly down the street.

 James watched the muscle car, trying his damnedest to get his hiccuping under control so he could speak as he lifted his phone out of his pocket, intending to call Jordan. The device fell to the pavement a moment later while James watched, breathless, as the mustang cross an intersection and was t-boned, throwing the car off to the other side of the road.

 James screamed Jordan’s name so loud, he was sure the neighbors two blocks away had heard him. Lights started emitting from houses all the way down the street as James raced as fast as he could on foot to Jordan’s car. He wasn’t even there yet when he heard the sirens of ambulances echoing in the air.

 When James got to the car, he cried out for Jordan who was limp in the driver's seat, bleeding from his head. James’ tears fell harder. He got the seat belt off of Jordan and forced the broken door open to drag the tall man out onto the pavement, careful to not jostle him. James sat on the road with Jordan between his legs and in his arms, cradling his face close to his chest.

 “Stay with me, Jordan,” he wept, running his fingers through Jordan’s auburn hair, dampening it with tears. “Just stay with me.”

 The ambulance showed up not a moment later, coming to a screeching halt. A gurney was pulled out of the back and James was forcefully pulled from Jordan so the paramedics could hoist the brunet. James demanded to ride with Jordan in the back; they were engaged--Jordan was his most important, and they weren’t going to take that from him.

 James held like a lifeline to Jordan’s hand, silently shedding tears as the paramedic set up an iv into Jordan’s other arm. A few bumpy roads later, and Jordan was stirring from his blackout, a groan on his lips as he squinted against the light of the ambulance.

 “Jordan?” James said hopefully, leaning in closer to see those deep sea eyes, as Jordan’s neck was currently strapped in a brace.

 “James?” He croaked, his lungs failing him as he wheezed, face pulled tight in pain.

 “Shh,” James hushed, running his hand over Jordan’s cheek softly, feeling fresh tears stain his cheeks all over again. “Be easy, okay? You were in a car accident.”

 “Don’ matter,” he breathed roughly, squeezing his eyes.

 “Jordan, you’re hurt,” James broken down, his hands shaky as he hovered one by Jordan’s face and the other tightly held onto the brunet’s own hand.

 “Thought you din’ love me,” Jordan spoke softly, throaty, as he fought against his lungs to get the words out.

 “Jordan,” James lifted his hand to wipe his tears away the best he could, sniffled, and shook his head. “I could never stop loving you. There’ll never be anyone I love more than you. You _are_ my one and only.”

 James watched the tears flood Jordan’s eyes before eyelashes were covering them, being soaked for their work, and then the streams that seeped down over Jordan’s ears. James wiped the side closest to him, and then ran that hand through Jordan’s hair with a smile, leaning forward to kiss Jordan’s forehead.

 “I love you, Jordan Mathewson,” he whispered against soft, tan kissed skin. “And I’ve never known love the way I’ve known it with you. I don’t think I’ll ever know love the same way again, and I know I never want to.”

 James leaned back in his seat and fished out his wedding ring he’d pocketed, holding it up so Jordan could see it and we watched as more tears formed in the already swimming ocean. “I’ll love you until my very last breath on this earth, and I want to spend all my moments, my life, with you.

 “So Jordan, will you do me the honour? Will you marry me?”

 Jordan’s tears fell, soaking his hair and skin in salt, but he gasped out a yes between his breathes. James lifted Jordan’s hand up to kiss his knuckles kindly, passionately, before leaning down to kiss his temple again.

 When James pulled away, the paramedic took the reins. “I’m going to need you to settle down now, Jordan,” he said, looking at his watch as he held Jordan’s wrist for his pulse. “You were in a traumatic accident--”

 “I love you, James,” Jordan said, dismissing the paramedic. “I love you so much. And I want you to be happy. I want whatever you want. This wasn’t your fault at all. Everything that led me to this moment was worth it. It was worth loving you, James Richard Wilson- _Mathewson_ Jr.”

 Jordan’s voice faded as he spoke on, using all of his breath to get out the words that meant so much to him. A smile was on his face, and tears spilled into his hair as the paramedic called his name. Again. And then the man was reaching for the defibrillator, and telling James to move back, please, though the darket was screaming for Jordan, his throat hoarse. James was in tears again, gushes of salt water falling from his red and puffy eyes as he watched; helplessly holding onto Jordan’s hand.

* * *

 

**Alternate Ending**

 

Days went into weeks, and weeks into a month. James hated hospitals. They were sterile, and white; had no life to them. It smelt bad too, something he knew Jordan would laugh at if he could see the displeased expression overtaking James’ face every time he came back into the room.

 It wasn’t too long after that month, however, that Jordan was released with a cast over his leg and stitches not only in his head but up his ribcage too. The most significant injury Jordan attained from the accident was a punctured lung, which was what had made him collapse in the ambulance all that time ago, when he over exhausted himself.

James and Jordan actually got married in the hospital after Jordan was moved from ICU to a regular sickroom. The priest came right into the room and everything. It was just their friends with them, needing a witness for the ceremony after all. Jordan promised James they could have a proper wedding when he was able to walk on his own again.

 So James stood by Jordan as he recovered from his injuries, and asked if Jordan felt any panic being near cars or with the thought of driving one. Jordan opted for therapy, which James felt prideful of; Jordan was seeking the help he needed. He found ways to cope, and the shakes he would get after sitting in a car went away with time.

 When Jordan’s birthday came, James surprised the brunet with a new twenty-sixteen Dodge Charger. This one was a sleek red and black fade. James didn’t want the mustang or the colour blue anywhere near Jordan until he felt one hundred percent.

 Jordan absolutely loved it; but was saddened at the thought of probably not being able to drive it until it was a year old. James only laughed and explained that it could be a training goal. Go to physical therapy and see his psychiatrist regularly, and in no time, he’d be able to drive his gift.

 The bribe worked; Jordan was walking on his own at the end of May; no more crutches, and _definitely_ no more canes. It was almost like the incident had ever happened, until James remembered that the doctors told him the other patient that came in--the one that had hit Jordan--had died in the ER. They had been drunk, and doped up on some kind of drug, the doctors explained. Jordan had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

A whole bunch of legal stuff happened too; things James hated. The justice system was on Jordan’s side, however, and he got a legal settlement from the deceased’s family to pay for his medical bills, including physical therapy and his psychiatrist visits. That was a weight off their shoulders.

 James’ birthday came, and the darknet wanted to do nothing more than lay in bed with Jordan all day and maybe order chinese and pay-per-view. It was the best birthday he’d had in _years_.

 Months just seemed to fly by after that. June turned to July, into August and then September into November. All these months were used to finish the preparations for their wedding, until finally December came.

 They had a white wedding, blemished with hints of red and a bit of green--their favorite colours, while playing on the date; Christmas Eve. James and Jordan stood at the altar while the priest next to them read them their vows, and James recollected that he thought he’d never get married in a church; let alone to a man, who was _younger than him_ , by the way.

But as Jordan looked at him, smiling and full of life, James couldn’t have pictured it any other way.

“Seems like we were destined for a white wedding,” Jordan said as the priest gave the brunet permission to kiss his newly vowed husband.

“It was worth it. If it means I get to love you, forever and always,” James replied, looking from Jordan’s eyes to his soft lips.

Jordan leaned in, and James came the rest of the way, bringing his hand up to hold Jordan’s jaw, while he felt the brunet’s hand on his side. It was more than anything James could have wanted.

Besides, it was always snowing in Colorado.


End file.
